Non-Jews are for practice
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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