I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
