how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
