So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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