Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo

  (810): View more from Michigan

  With himself

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  (810): I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo (810): With himself http://tfl.nu/5c4h
  Replies (1) Good night (802) Bad night (995)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.

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  (978): I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b. http://tfl.nu/o2b7
  Replies (33) Good night (2391) Bad night (1439)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"

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  (972): Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88" http://tfl.nu/q0w3
  Replies (58) Good night (4764) Bad night (599)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!

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  (856): FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?! http://tfl.nu/ganv
  Replies (70) Good night (5074) Bad night (9570)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?

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  (917): i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far? http://tfl.nu/ph4e
  Replies (59) Good night (5939) Bad night (1232)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.

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  (313): Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack. http://tfl.nu/j0gt
  Replies (20) Good night (4532) Bad night (963)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.

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  (902): driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are. http://tfl.nu/vxum
  Replies (16) Good night (4979) Bad night (1103)
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  (310): View more from California

  While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.

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  (310): While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating. http://tfl.nu/umg8
  Replies (34) Good night (17271) Bad night (1563)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.

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  (918): i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome. http://tfl.nu/yiek
  Replies (8) Good night (971) Bad night (2084)
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  (916): View more from California

  He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.

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  (916): He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head. http://tfl.nu/7dxe
  Replies (12) Good night (604) Bad night (4667)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.

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  (202): I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom. http://tfl.nu/7w7n
  Replies (3) Good night (531) Bad night (1310)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.

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  (402): I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off. http://tfl.nu/dyhi
  Replies (2) Good night (1000) Bad night (769)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting

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  (580): This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting http://tfl.nu/ouax
  Replies (9) Good night (933) Bad night (636)
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  (914): View more from New York

  She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.

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  (914): She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch. http://tfl.nu/fvbm
  Replies (7) Good night (1173) Bad night (343)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night

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  (214): You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night http://tfl.nu/tn8h
  Replies (4) Good night (727) Bad night (249)

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