Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back http://tfl.nu/ogq4
  Replies (30) Good night (1061) Bad night (2394)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday. http://tfl.nu/1ia2
  Replies (82) Good night (1295) Bad night (4834)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night. http://tfl.nu/jfm9
  Replies (68) Good night (28433) Bad night (3532)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??

  (713): View more from Texas

  Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept?? (713): Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger. http://tfl.nu/oww9
  Replies (44) Good night (5189) Bad night (9571)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): 12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began http://tfl.nu/mu8u
  Replies (21) Good night (5413) Bad night (1214)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him http://tfl.nu/bwdr
  Replies (21) Good night (6757) Bad night (1795)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can http://tfl.nu/8h8s
  Replies (17) Good night (6324) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor. http://tfl.nu/qeri
  Replies (20) Good night (1046) Bad night (4352)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/6dyk
  Replies (9) Good night (3440) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza http://tfl.nu/lbxf
  Replies (9) Good night (1814) Bad night (1912)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical. http://tfl.nu/qbx3
  Replies (10) Good night (3617) Bad night (955)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina http://tfl.nu/ae28
  Replies (10) Good night (3050) Bad night (792)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day. http://tfl.nu/c735
  Replies (4) Good night (1028) Bad night (714)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die. http://tfl.nu/n2ik
  Replies (1) Good night (873) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South. http://tfl.nu/tqtt
  Replies (1) Good night (321) Bad night (547)

Randomize