Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel. http://tfl.nu/jndo
  Replies (56) Good night (8534) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen http://tfl.nu/n18y
  Replies (34) Good night (6989) Bad night (1576)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like http://tfl.nu/mlp3
  Replies (54) Good night (11379) Bad night (1465)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere. http://tfl.nu/h3z2
  Replies (7) Good night (2853) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Why does it always end up with me crying in my car. http://tfl.nu/bhj2
  Replies (10) Good night (712) Bad night (3137)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon. http://tfl.nu/dsce
  Replies (9) Good night (1199) Bad night (2394)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you http://tfl.nu/ckem
  Replies (11) Good night (2491) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying. http://tfl.nu/uj2j
  Replies (3) Good night (2202) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that http://tfl.nu/i7hu
  Replies (10) Good night (1093) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week. http://tfl.nu/z2q6
  Replies (2) Good night (1183) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted... http://tfl.nu/r2o3
  Replies (1) Good night (1576) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money. http://tfl.nu/sp3n
  Replies (23) Good night (574) Bad night (2164)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level http://tfl.nu/bgaz
  Replies (3) Good night (552) Bad night (988)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (361): Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass http://tfl.nu/9x8z
  Replies (1) Good night (511) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going http://tfl.nu/u26z
  Replies (0) Good night (456) Bad night (224)

Randomize