I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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