Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
