So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
