Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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