Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
