I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
