i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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