in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
