Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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