I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
