your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My liver just had a heart attack.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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