do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
