We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
