i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
