Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
is it fun? or sober?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
