i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
