there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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