some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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