i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize