my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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