If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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