its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
