O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
