I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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