hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Your shirt... Was in my pants
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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