Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
