I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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