from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
zippers are such a cool invention
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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