it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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