dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just took my morning after pill in the library
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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