I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
