we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
