I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
