Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
