wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
