No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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