hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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