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• (207): View more from Maine

  i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me

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• (516): View more from New York

  Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (281): View more from Texas

  It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool

  (1-507): View more from Minnesota

  In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study

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• (425): View more from Washington

  When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.

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