fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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