Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday