Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
