she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize