It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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