we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
These tits shall not be calmed
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