there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
