It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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