Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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