i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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