I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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