yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
