how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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