Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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