drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
