Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
