R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
