pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
