you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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