im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize