And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
