Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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