it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
