i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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