we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
