Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
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I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
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